What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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