I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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