hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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