between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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