i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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