pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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