doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Everclear isn't food dammit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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