I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
how drunk are you?
Several
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize