Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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