Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize