listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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