Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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