I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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