dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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