sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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