did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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