the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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