East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize