Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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