My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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