dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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