Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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