I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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