For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
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listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
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He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He shit in the fireplace
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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