Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I believe in your delicious
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize