you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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