No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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