so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize