Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize