He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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