i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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