One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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