haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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