I must be too annoying 4 u.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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