Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
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I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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