I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize