she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize