So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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