Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
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I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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