She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize