was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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