Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize