literally had 100 drinks last night.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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