I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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