my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
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I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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