I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize