im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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