Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Fuck appropriateness.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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