It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
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He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
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Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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