I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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